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Speaking of poop

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Speaking of poop…This is going to sound really weird and I almost hesitate to bring this up, but I just have to know so I am not going to pee around the bush.  Ill get directly to the point.

Here goes.

I think I poop gold.  I know.  I know.  Crazy right?  But listen.  Sheesh this is embarrassing.  My mom and pop pick up my poop.  Seriously, they collect it, mostly in the spring when the snow is melting.  I have watched them go around the yard and pick up my poop and put it in a big white bucket.  I don’t know where they take it.  I’m still sleuthing on that one.  There must be a refinery around here somewhere.  My poop has to contain either gold or silver…maybe even platinum, because I overheard my mom tell my pop that she was going to go outside and,,,,get this,,,, pick up Opie’s “land mines.  Mines?  Gold and silver come from mines.

I would like to know if any of you also poop gold or am I just incredibly special?

Respectfully awaiting your replies,

Opie

The Deep Thinker


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15 Responses to “Speaking of poop”

  1.   ldillon81 Says:

    ewww! Opie, that’s so gross! I pick up Jack’s but I throw it away, and I at least use pink scented bags to make the experience more pleasant. And now that he is no longer pooping liquid due to a food allergy, its even better still! However, if your parents are really getting your poop refined into gold, please let me know where to send Jack’s off to. Thanks!

    <3 Laura

  2.   cometdog Says:

    Only you would think you have poop gold!

    However, mine is special because my best buddy, the late great Rugby used to eat my poo! Not his, just mine! He loved picking the carrots out! (We get a carrot a night as a treat.)

    Mommy would get so mad at him and if she caught him she would spray his mouth with chloraseptic. She thought it would clean his mouth out without doing any harm. She was so afraid he’d get sick from it. Who knew it would be cancer that would kill him?!!
    Oh, those were the days!

    I wished monkeybutt would eat poo! His or mine, I don’t care!

    Kinda grossed out –
    Comet

  3.   maggie Says:

    Opie!!!!!!! You think of the wildest things!!! You crack me up! My mom just says she’s “gonna go pick up poop”….so I guess mine aren’t ‘land mines’…aka possibly gold, silver or platinum!
    What do you eat?? Maybe that’s why your poops are landmines? he-he!!!

    Maggie

  4.   etgayle Says:

    wow, how funny!! my don say’s he’s going on ‘poop patrol’ before he mows. i always wonder if it’s like in the john wayne war movies… no gold or silver in our ‘leavin’s’, only….poop…..

  5.   wyattraydawg Says:

    Mmmmmm… poop! I love poop. And yours sounds especially tasty! 🙂

  6.   Carmen (Catie's Mom) Says:

    I just laughed out loud and spewed coffee all over my keyboard.

    Opie’s land mines LOL!!!

    Thanks for that. 🙂

  7.   anyemery Says:

    My mom goes out with bags to collect mine, too! Then she carries them into the garage. I wonder if she has a big container in there… she doesn’t call mine land mines, though. But I have heard her talk about the land mines she’d have to collect when she was growing up and had a golden – she always tells my dad mine are nothing compared to those. So her golden’s must have been more valuable than my wheaten poop. So it might be that goldens lay golden poop – you could have something there, Opie!
    Holly

  8.   Mackenzie's Mom Says:

    Hey Deep Thinker…wherever do you get these deep gold thoughts? Must be something in that Alaskan air….. I’ve described Mackenzie’s poop in several different ways in her lifetime and often ask my husband to describe her poop when he takes her out (yes, I’m obsessed and yes he doesn’t appreciate it!) but haven’t seen or heard anything about the pooping gold thing. But it does make sense….imagine how rich we would all be with gold poop!

  9.   Nova Says:

    Opie, you are always thinking of crazy stuff. First the Frito feet, and now you poop GOLD. You mom picks up your poop in a BUCKET? Well, get this, my pawrents use a wheelbarrow! Mom says they would be billionaires if my poop was gold.

  10.   Sophie's mom (Tana) Says:

    Opie … you may have solved the greatest mystery of the canine world – What DO they do with all that poop?? It has to go somewhere – and you see people picking it up all over the place … so … they collect it – and mine the gold out of it !

    In Sophie’s case we HAVE found gold in those “land-mines”, aka “pies”. But that was when she ate some gold jewelery (Have you read “Marley and Me”??) Oh yeah, and when she and Keaton ate the money … but that is a WHOLE different story.

    Absolutely – golden dogs poop golden poops ! And lots of it !!

    Comet – chloraseptic ! HAAAAAhaaaaaa. I bet that made his breath smell SO MUCH better ! Poop and mint !

    Keep thinking Opie …..
    Sophie and Tana

  11.   Peyton's Path Says:

    Opie, I love that you get to blog about poop! Doesn’t get any better than that! I bet you do have gold poop you are a GOLDen retriever-does make sense! I am going to have Mom read your blog and see if she agrees that I have gold poop! We could be rich! Imagine all the peanut butter treats and balls we could buy if we were rich from our golden poop!?!? Possibilities are endless!

    I need to go nap to dream about all the things I will buy with my riches! Thanks for being so smart Opie! I could really tell you were pondering your poop question in your picture!

    XOXO
    Dillon and Rhys

  12.   Opie Says:

    Bwaaahahahahahahahahah. Wyatt! You shouldn’t eat poop! Well, unless it is moose poop and only the winter stuff…nuggets. They are all woody and crunchy. Silly Wyatt.

    Comet, EWwwwwwww. and yet, Bwaaahahahahhaah.

    Dillon & Rhys, I’ll bet if yours isn’t gold, it is surely peanut butter. Which I think is better than gold…ya can’t eat gold.

    Thanks everybody for the input. Still a mystery, but glad to know that your pawrents collect poop, too. Opie

    PS. Catie’s mom….your comment made my mom and pop laugh out loud. I hope your keyboard recovers.

  13.   cometdog Says:

    My dearest Opie,
    I should be really mad at you for not telling how sick you are. But I can’t be mad at you Opie.
    I want you to know that I didn’t think I would ever love another boy dog after Rugby died last July. But you made me believe in true love again. I teased Rugby, too because that’s how I show love.

    Opie, I have to say this to you now because I didn’t get to tell Rugby how much I loved him because he got sick suddenly and died a few hours later. When he started feeling sick, mommy laid down him a fresh bed beside her and I ran and jumped into it. Mommy got mad at me. I feel awful about it now because I’m greedy when it comes to fresh beds. I didn’t know he was dying at that moment. No one knew.

    Opie, I would give you a fresh bed to lay on if I was there with you. That’s how much you mean to me.

    Please, please, please get well Opie.

    With all my love,
    Comet

  14.   majorbubbatank Says:

    Mom told me she once had a dog (long before me) who pooped silver around Christmas time. One night she staked out the Christmas tree to catch Kiwi in the act. Much to her surprise, it was THE CAT stealing tinsel! “How does that equate to sterling dog poo?” you may ask. Mom says Kiwi was a champion cat box cleaner. You do the math.

    Major

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